With the celebration of our independence on July 4th, we talk a lot about freedom, liberty, and independence. One of the other words that comes to mind when I think of independence is CHOICE. The ability to choose.
We were given the gift of agency and freedom to choose from the very beginning. In the premortal existence, this was the basis of the plan of redemption. Choice. It goes against our very nature when we feel like we are without choice. This isn’t just disturbing spiritually, but also physically. When we feel like we don’t have a choice, our Autonomic Nervous System responds with fight, flight, or freeze.
Do you put up a fight when you feel like you are being forced?
Do you run, avoid, or hide?
Or do you do nothing? Freeze.
This is all a protective mechanism to establish safety!
The one phrase, “I Have To” seems harmless, but it can be signaling danger, because it communicates no choice.
Steven R. Covey calls this reactive language. It’s no wonder many times we feel trapped, helpless, and prisoners to our own lives that we chose!
Proactive language is “I Choose To.” I choose the option and the consequence that follows.
Listen in to hear more about independence and choice, and swap “have to” to “choose to!”